Author: ireneg

Chicago calls itself the “second city”. Ostensibly, the first city in America is New York, and Chicago comes in second.

That is a terrible way to look at things. Why should you imply that you are second best, or worse, not good enough?

Futhermore, no one thinks of Chicago as the #2 city in the country. Maybe they did once, but not now. If there is a second city, it would be Los Angeles.

But why does there have to be a second city? Why identify like that? Chicago is our premiere midwestern city, and that is something to be proud of. It has a special vibe and pace of its own. It’s useless to try to compete with something that is too different to even attempt a comparison.

This applies to you, too. Don’t try to be like anyone else. Just do you. No one else can do it as well as you can. Look what Garrison Keillor did for small town Minnesota. He made it into a very familiar and yet almost magical place.

Here’s my Chicago story. It shows what needless comparison can do to a city:

I was in Chicago on business and I got on a city bus. I asked the driver if the bus was going to the art museum. He didn’t seem to know. So I turned to the people on the bus, and in my NY mode of zip-zip timing so as not to hold up the passengers, asked them if this bus went to the art museum. No one answered. Finally, I asked “How do I get to the art museum?” No one answered, but one man yelled out “Get off and walk!” Okay, that was it. I no longer cared if I was holding anyone up. I turned to face the passengers and announced “I’m from New York and I’m going to remember this.” The moment they heard the words “New York”, they all started jeering. Chicago resents New York for being the #1 city–a moniker I reject. I got off the bus and got into a taxi.

An executive once called me from Amazon. She was coming to New York and wanted to set up a meeting at the end of August.

I gently explained to her that I wouldn’t be around in late August–and neither would anyone else. That is a dead time in publishing, although I prefer to think of it as a renewal time.

It’s important to know the rhythms of the world in which you are working. Amazon is in Seattle. Maybe August is different for them. On the east coast, it’s pretty much acknowledged that “after Labor Day” is a given. It’s like the end of December. Not a great time to set things up.

January-April is a solid block of working time. But then people start to go on vacations, which can slow things down. Summer is possible, but there are more vacations. It takes a week or two after Labor Day for everyone to be back in gear, and then it’s in full gear until Thanksgiving. By mid-December, it’s time to wait until after the 1st.

I naively thought everyone knew this. But apparently the Amazon executive did not, so I’m just spelling it out. To everything there is a season.

 

An author’s career needs consistency. If you thought you could write a fun mystery and then a Young Adult romcom and then a literary novel about Henry VIII, and then a nonfiction book about the inner workings of a snail, you are jumping around too much for a publisher to know what to do with you. Pick one thing and stick with it. They want to build you. They don’t want to have to start over each time. Your next book should be a suitable followup to your last book.

Authors may protest that they have more range and want the freedom to do other things. You can do that, but consider that you will lose readers, and you won’t be known for any one thing. That matters simply because that’s how the publishing business works. If Taylor Swift suddenly decided to start singing opera, she would lose fans. She might gain new ones, but not enough. And your audience wants to know they can rely on you. If everyone is looking forward to Taylor’s new album, they don’t want to find out that she went off and did something weird. They want more of the same. Of course you can expand on what you’re doing. Just keep it in the same wheelhouse. Sgt. Pepper was a far cry from the early Beatles. They grew and changed. A lot. But they still sounded like the same band. They stayed true to themselves. And it’s part of the reason they are still around.

 

This is a term I invented. It is a comprehensive meeting with the author, the editor, the agent, possibly the editorial director, and people from sales, marketing, and publicity.

It’s powerful because it gets to the heart of things and then things get done. I love these meetings because they are cordial but thoughtful. We go over what is working and what is not. If something isn’t working, we talk about how to fix or replace it. It’s important to go in with a positive attitude instead of looking for trouble. If there is trouble, you will find out in this meeting. Say they promised to do summer reading tables, and that never happened. You can find out why. It could be that they dropped the ball. Or it could be that the last two didn’t increase sales, and Barnes & Noble decided not to continue. That is not what you want to hear, but it’s valuable information. And like it or not, it’s what you came for.

It’s a good time to make suggestions and toss around ideas with everyone in the same place (or virtually). If possible, I prefer to have them in person, because that requires a greater level of commitment. It’s easier to slide by on a Zoom call, but you have to be prepared when you’re looking into someone’s eyeballs. I always bring an agenda with questions and ideas and I expect everyone else to do the same. Also, it usually means the author has flown in, which makes it a much bigger deal.

The tone of all this should be upbeat. Everyone wants the same thing, which is for the books to make money, so there is no need for contention. If you feel they are doing little to nothing, you can point that out in a polite but firm way. Ask them why their commitment feels light to you. Have reasonable expectations. If you thought they were going to do national TV ads for your second mystery novel, that is not reasonable.

Be prepared for honesty. This is not a time to hype or exaggerate. It’s a time for truth. If your last book didn’t do well, everyone is disappointed. But why? Why didn’t it do well? Was it too much of a departure from your usual brand? Was the publisher’s support less than the last book? Why? Are they thinking outside the box? Are you? Maybe you chose a difficult topic that put the readers off. Maybe your website and social media are not engaging enough. Maybe you need a video or a blog. Maybe they dropped the ball somewhere, or maybe they didn’t drop the ball but there was a good reason for whatever you are curious about. Sometimes they try to accomplish something and don’t, but they don’t want to tell you. For example, they tried to get several radio spots, but no one was interested. They don’t want to tell you that because it’s  disappointing and they think it’s better to leave it unsaid. But it isn’t. You still want to know, because maybe there is something you can do about it. Or maybe not. Better to know and then you can move on.

When do we have these kinds of meetings? When the time feels right to have one. It could be once a year, it could be next week, or it could be never. There is no rule about this. It usually happens either when things are going very well, or when something has gone wrong that can be fixed.

I have never had one that went badly. Publishers are people too, and they want you to be happy. They get a  lot of complaints, so it’s always a good idea to show some gratitude. They should do that too. That is basic business and it works every time.

Just what is the midlist, anyway?

It’s anything published that isn’t a big book or a climbing author. In other words, it’s a great percentage of books that are published.

And most of them sell modestly. You might think that your brand new novel is going to receive a lot of support from the publisher because no one has heard of it (or you–unless you are adept at social media) and it needs support.  But the fact is, most books receive very little support. They will probably send out review copies and do some internet marketing, but they only put big guns behind the big authors. Most new authors don’t understand this. Here’s why.

They aren’t going to take a chance and spend a lot of money on something that is unproven. They will do a decent cover and they will look for any opportunities that seem relevant to your book, but they will not go out of their way. That is why it is incumbent on you to step up and meet them halfway.

Come with your own marketing ideas. These ideas should be doable and make sense. If you want a full page ad in the NY Times, that is not realistic. Be prepared to work with the publisher, using whatever is at your disposal. They will send you some kind of questionnaire when you sign the contract to find out what they can explore and how to use it, so make sure you have a lot to put  on it. It’s good if you have strong social media, are a member of some prominent organizations, are in contact with influencers who might help spread the word, have a large mailing list, or can get a lot of speaking engagements where you can sell books. If you come in with those things, the publisher will be glad to augment them with more action.

Can you get out of the midlist? Yes, if your books sell. You can rise up the list and may eventually find yourself in a more prominent place. Readers have a way of finding what’s good. If you are consistent and keep building yourself–and most of all, if you are especially good–there is light at the end of the tunnel.

All this is not easy. But if you stay the course, think creatively, and focus on what works, you can indeed break out. The key is to be consistent. Don’t take a year off. Keep hitting the same nail on its head. Pay attention to what your readers want and deliver it.

 

You know what it is and you have to have it. Some authors are quite good at it and really know how to work the internet. Others, not so much.

I can remember a time, back when dinosaurs roamed the land, when there was no such thing as the internet and nobody cared. You can’t miss what you never knew. But today, you have to have it. Since everyone else has it, you are compelled to join the party. Because if you don’t, everyone else will eclipse you and you will become invisible.

How much should you do? At least once a week, but more is welcome. The whole point is to be out there. It doesn’t have to be terribly substantive or meaningful. As long as you’re somewhere.

If you are a hopeless Luddite who feels this is just not for you, hire someone to do it for you. There are many such people available. Readers love it best when they know it’s coming directly from you, as if they have your ear and you are talking right to them. So always try to achieve that, even if someone else is pretending to be you. But something is better than nothing. And go as big as you can. Big numbers make a real difference.

Any publisher considering you as a new author will be looking you up while they are still on the phone with me. If your social media has strong numbers, that is half the battle. It’s as good as having a brilliant proposal or manuscript. When you have both, you are as close as you can ever get to a sure thing.

When I was fourteen, the Beatles were touring the United States. They came to Detroit, where I grew up, to do a concert. My friends had formed a Beatles fan club and they all bought tickets to the concert. I did not join the club because although I was certainly a fan, I did not see the point in a bunch of girls sitting around and mooning over which of the Fab Four they liked best or who was the cutest. And I didn’t buy a ticket because I figured the concert would be raucous and filled with shrieking girls and I wouldn’t be able to hear a note.

What I didn’t know was that the club had realized pretty quickly that they didn’t have much to do. But everyone had paid dues, and they had a few hundred dollars. They decided to sponsor a Native American child with the money. The Beatles somehow got wind of this and they asked to meet the president of the club after the concert. When the time came (after a concert filled with screaming girls where no one could hear a note), the president of the club was called into the green room. Three of her friends waited for her outside. After a minute she stuck her head out and said that the Beatles wanted all of them to come in. They spent about two hours hanging out and laughing and having a good time. At one point John Lennon tapped my friend Gloria on the shoulder. She turned around and he said, “Yes?” Paul was talking to people and hustling, George was quiet and introspective, and Ringo spent a lot of time looking through a Beatles scrapbook with one of the club members.

I was not there. I thought I was too much of a smarty pants and look what happened. I could have met the Beatles and I didn’t. Because I didn’t show up.

So show up. Go to that meeting or conference or gathering. Listen to that podcast. It may turn out to be a dud. So what? At least you put yourself out there. Because you just never know what might happen. But for sure, nothing will happen if you don’t show up.

Consider the first line of this poem:

To? Or not to? William Shakespeare’s ???little cumslut???♂:

Do you think it’s any good? Is it as good as, say, “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”

It is, in fact, a deliberately and carefully designed piece of awful and pointless “poetry” created by a man who calls himself Jasper Ceylon because he wanted to make a point.

He sent out several pieces of equally bad so-called poetry to various publications, using fake names such as “Adele Nwanko, a gender fluid member of the Nigerian diaspora”.

Many of them were published.

Another man, Michael Derrick Hudson, sent around a poem called “The Bees, the Flowers, Jesus, Ancient Tigers, Poseidon, Adam and Eve”. It was rejected forty times. Then he changed the name of the poet to Yi-Fen Chou, and it sold immediately.

Do I really need to explain this? Haven’t things gone way too far?

Not too long ago I had a conversation with a Young Adult editor who insisted that she would not even read something I wanted to send her, because it did not sound like it had enough diversity. I told her there was one gay character, but that wasn’t enough for her. It was a lovely and beautifully written story, but she refused to judge it on its merits. Merits?! Heaven forbid.

When did quality become usurped by rigid and extreme social trends? While of course there is a place for all voices and all voices should be considered, it has become necessary to feature ONLY diverse voices.

That means that most of the great classics would not be eligible in today’s market. THE CATCHER IN THE RYE? Forget it. It has homophobia and every single character is white. THE SUN ALSO RISES? Everyone is white and there is blatant antisemitism. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD? No way. There is nothing from Tom Robinson’s point of view. It is a white savior book. Well, it is a white savior book. So what? It is from one character’s point of view. So is HUCKLEBERRY FINN a white savior book, but then Percival Everett came along and gave us JAMES, which is a brilliant and important counterpart to Huck Finn’s story. There is a place for both. Should we ban OTHELLO and THE MERCHANT OF VENICE? And because of those plays, should we ban all of Shakespeare? Where will this end?

 

 

 

 

 

I just took one, right before writing this. I came back with a level head and was ready to roll. It’s very important to stop what you’re doing once in a while and hit Refresh. You can read that advice anywhere, but do you actually follow it? Make yourself do it. It will pay off.

Take a walk. Run an errand. Pull some weeds from the garden. Look at shoes or fishing rods or toasters online. Do some jumping jacks. Stop for coffee somewhere–not because you don’t have coffee where you work, but just to put yourself in a different environment. Chat with someone. Soak in the sunshine. Smile.

This does not take time away from your work. It actually helps your work, because you return to it with a clearer head. Everything actually goes faster when you take appropriate breaks. It’s like the French Paradox. where you eat more but don’t gain weight. Take more breaks and you will get more done.

 

 

 

Here are the questions I get asked the most:

 

Q: How do you find clients?

A: All kinds of places. Anywhere, really. But I get a lot through referrals and a lot from cooking up my own ideas and then finding an author to write them.

Q: I sold 78 copies of my family recipes by self-publishing. Why would I need an agent?

A: You don’t.  You made the right move by publishing your own family recipes. No traditional publisher would want a book that sells 78 copies. They want to sell tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of books.

Q: Should I double space a synopsis?

A: Yes, people actually ask that a lot. The answer is YES. Double space everything except your query letter.

Q: How long should a query letter be?

A: Try to keep it to one page, single spaced.

Q: What is a typical advance?

A: There is no typical advance. Advances are based on many things–how your last book sold, how much they believe in it or expect it to sell, how effective your platform is and how much engagement you have, and how other similar books did. An assertive agent will set realistic expectations and then go for it.

Q: How can I get a lot of money up front?

A: By writing a book that’s worth a lot of money.

Q: How important is platform?

A: Very. A strong platform makes all the difference. Before they even start reading, a publisher is likely to look you up and see what they find.

Q: Does it help if I meet an agent or editor at a conference?

A: It doesn’t hurt, but the proof is in the reading.

Q: What is the most money you ever got for a book?

A: Not telling. Would you like me to be broadcasting your income?

Q: What qualifications do you have?

A: I have the passion and the drive. That’s what it really takes. I went to college. I read a lot. I love a negotiation. If you’re looking for some kind of license or certificate, those things don’t exist. Anyone can hang out a shingle and declare themselves a agent. So shop carefully.

The last one is not a question. It was a comment. An interviewer once said to me that she envied me because I get to read all the time. That was a woefully ignorant comment. Of course we read the work of our clients, and that is often a pleasure. We try to keep up with the market and read what’s out there, but that doesn’t mean we love everything we read. And if you’re talking about unsolicited queries, most of those are declined. That means reading a great deal of work we don’t love, can’t sell, and never asked for. It takes stamina, patience, and valuable time. Most reading gets done on nights and weekends. No one sits and reads in the office. There is too much else to do!